Understanding
by Moonsetta
Summary: There's an alien invasion. Sounds fun right? Wrong. Casey and April are no more. What else could go wrong? Well, Raph's pretty angry, but how far could he go? Who is going to get hurt and who is going to stop him?


I don't own TMNT. --- EVERYONE KNOWS THIS!!!

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"Raphael!" Splinter yelled as his 2nd oldest lashed out at his youngest brother, who managed to jump out of range of his sais.

Raph froze and stared at the ground but what no one sensed was the growing rage inside him.

Splinter sighed, he hoped his eldest son would return soon. Raphael's temper had grown from bad to worse. Leonardo was usually the one that endured the long battles with immediate younger brother but since they were mutant turtles living in the sewers of New York City they often needed to run topside to get food and supplies which was the reason for the leader's absence.

They had recently fought off an alien invasion with the assistance of their allies. Leo had given specific jobs to each of his brothers. Mikey and he would create a distraction to keep the alien's attention on them, while Don worked on a radio signal that would block the communications between the extraterrestrials' ships, giving the E. P. F. time to blow them out of the sky with their advanced weaponry. Raph's job was to defeat any aliens that escaped the building. April and Casey were to be there as back up. They hadn't expected that so many had been in the building.

April and Casey had perished afterwards. A disease the aliens had planned to use to destroy the human population of earth had killed them 24 hours after the aliens' supposed defeat. After the shock wore off enough Don checked his brothers, father and himself. Their mutations made them immune to the disease. Raph, was blaming himself. No one understood him. He believed it was his fault. They had been with him. If they would've stayed home or went with Don they wouldn't be dead.

Raph glanced up as his breathing grew heavier and he glared at his father.

"Raphael," Splinter said in shock as his son glared with rage.

With a scream Raph ran forward and sliced down with his sais, at his own father. Splinter dodged the knives and prepared himself for a full battle. Raphael's rage was not easily dealt with and although he had calmed the angry turtle many times it was often Leonardo who dealt with the physical out lashings.

"Raphael, why do you act this way?" Splinter asked as he raised his walking stick to catch one of Raph's sais.

"Raph no!" Mikey protested trying to draw his older brother's attention away from their father.

"Michelangelo no, do not-"

Before Splinter could finish his sentence Raph threw his other sai, the blade flying smoothly and deadly across Mikey's thigh. Mikey yelled and fell to the ground.

"Michelangelo!" Splinter scream and was distracted long enough to receive a punch from Raph.

Splinter dodged a kick and tried to make his way to his youngest son but found he needed to be fully focus on Raphael.

"What's going on in here?" Don asked as he poked his head into the dojo.

He took one looked around and he gasped as he ran to his little brother, "Mikey, what happened!?"

"Raph's angry," Mikey explained, glancing at his fighting older brother and father.

Don looked over as well and glared at the red masked turtle. His eyes had already seen the bloody sai and only one being in this room was bleeding.

"Let's get you into the infirmary," Don said, moving to lift Mikey in his arms.

Mikey held on tightly to his older brother and looked back worriedly at his father, "What about Master Splinter?"

"We come back and check on him once I bandage that wound," Don explained and quickly made his way out of the dojo.

Splinter dodged the last sai and struck up with his walking stick to knock it away. It landed on the other side of the room but it didn't cool Raph's rage, only ignited it. He lashed out more harshly and was truly ready to rip out the throat of whoever was in front of him. Consciously, it was all a fast moving blur to the red masked turtle, nothing but moving air and colors that melted into one another.

"My son, snap out of this!" Splinter ordered but he could see it in the clouded over eyes, Raphael was far away.

Then came the sound of the main lair door opening and then the rush of feet across the floor.

"Leo!" Mikey's exuberant voice shouted.

"Mikey, you shouldn't be walking yet much less running!" Don's voice called after him.

It was the distraction Raph needed he swung back his fist and sent it flying against Splinter's chest he smirked at the sound of a rib cracking. The long silence that followed scared the three in the other room. Raph scooped up his one bloody sai and stood over his weakened father. His eyes were still lit with rage. He raised the sai and brought it down.

"NO!" a voice shouted and suddenly the sai was stopped by two crossed swords.

Raph glared as his red masked eyes met a gaze surrounded by blue. The hothead jumped back and grabbed his other sai as Leo took a defensive stance in front of his father.

"Leonardo," Splinter whispered.

"I'll handle this sensei. Don, see to Master Splinter."

Don nodded and told Mikey to wait by the door. He carefully lifted his father and slipped out of the room but Mikey didn't move to follow them. He decided to just focus on the matter at hand, to help his father. Back in the dojo the oldest brothers charged forward and each of their weapons locked with one another.

"Give up Fearless Leader, you ain't gonna beat me," Raph snarled.

"I don't need to," Leo said sternly, "I'm better than that!"

Leo flipped backwards a few feet from Raph and met his fire-filled gaze with his calming ocean blue gaze. That angered Raph even more. Why was Leo always so calm!? Why wasn't he angry!?

"Oh, you're saying your better than me!?" Raph yelled as he shot forward, his sais pointing forward and ready to stab.

Leo knocked them away easily and then jumped back to sheath his katanas. He would not fight with weapons if his opponent did not have his. Raph forgot the sais and just ran forward with his hands in fists ready to claw out those eyes and shred the being apart. In a flash he was thrown against the opposite wall. Leo was beating him, winning! What the eldest had failed to notice was that he had thrown his younger brother next to his sais. Raph let an evil grin spread across his face as he scooped them up again. Leo would pay. Leo unsheathed his katanas and raised them to block Raph's first move. Mikey had shouted out protests throughout the match but neither of his brothers seemed to be listening. Raph took a deep breath and charged head on. He knew Leo would catch his sais with each sword but he didn't care.

"This has to end," Leo thought as he remembered the last few months.

The deaths of their closest human friends had wounded them all greatly. Don was hit the worst by April's death while Raph was hit the hardest by Casey's. It had come to this. Maybe Leo noticed Don and Splinter walking back into the dojo as Raph charged at him or maybe he didn't. The sais were two inches from the swords and then…the swords were released. Animal rage still blinding him, Raph struck out, knowing that Leo was weaker without his beloved katanas. He would hit him.

And he did.

Both sais stuck deeply into Leo's stomach as he bent slightly forward with the pain. Raph's angry scowl fell and his jaw dropped. Leo had let him hurt him! Leo had let Raph stab him! They just stood there for the longest second, staring into the other's eyes. Both the flaming and cooling gazes were leaking tears. They were both breathing heavily.

"Raphael, Leonardo," Splinter whispered in shock.

The rat couldn't believe what he was seeing. Raphael had stabbed Leonardo with his sais and Leonardo had let him. Never did he believe any of his sons would act so violently towards one of his brothers.

"Raph," Mikey whispered in stunned silence.

"Leo," Don mumbled in shock.

Raph's eyes suddenly grew wide as Leo slightly leaned to one side and a groan escaped his throat. The red masked turtle stepped back, drawing his sais out of his brother. Leo glanced down at the floor as his eyes fought to close. He shook his head and forced his gaze up to Raph. The sai wielding turtle was shaking his head.

"No, no, no. I-couldn't. I didn't," he was looking at the turtle in front of him in denial then gazed down at his sais, they were both fully stained with blood.

"No," Raph breathed as he trembled.

"Raphie," Leo spoke softly as he gazed at his immediate little brother.

"Leo-I," Raph's attempt to speak failed.

Leo breathed heavily and then stepped forward. He glanced down at the bleeding wounds and then untied his belt. He tied it over the wounds to act as a tourniquet for the time being but he fought the urge to pass out. He continued moving forward until he was close enough. He reached out and grabbed the sais. He pried them from Raph's hands and tossed them aside. Then, he took one last step closer and pulled his little brother into a hug. Raph was stone still for a moment and then he slammed his eyes shut as a lump formed in his throat.

"Leo, bro I-" he tried to say something, but couldn't.

"I understand bro," Leo said, "You're not the only one who lost a best friend."

Raph knew what he was talking about. Dealing with his younger brother's sense of loss and grief had piled more stress than ever on the eldest so Splinter had demanded he take a rest. He suggested a visit to Usagi's world. A simple week of rest. Leo had went with only minimal argument. He had returned hours later, Usagi had been captured and executed by a band of soldiers working for an enemy of Lord Noriyuki's. That night had worn their father out. He was comforting Leonardo for his loss of Usagi, trying to contain Raphael's rage of Casey's death and consoling Donatello for the death of April. Michelangelo found comfort from his pet cat, Klunk. Splinter instructed his eldest the next day on a spiritual journey. Whatever happened it healed the eldest's heart and he was back to shouldering responsibility that became a great relief for his father.

"Leo," Raph said with a choking gasp between each letter.

"I understand," the blue masked turtle whispered.

He looked his younger brother strait in the eyes. There was a loud yell and then his younger brother was crying into his neck, screaming out the grief.

"Shh," Leo cooed as tried to keep Raphael steady.

Both seemed ready to fall so Don stepped forward his anxiety about Leo's wounds growing with each second. Leo motioned for them to stay back and then slowly lowered himself and his little brother to the ground. After two deep breaths Leo pulled Raph closer and tucked his under his chin while massaging his shoulders.

"Shh, I'm here," Leo whispered.

"They don't understand," Raph muttered under his breath as he clung tightly to Leo.

"Make them understand," Leo whispered back.

"I can't."

"Why?"

"It's just…sometimes I think there's this wall, between me and everyone else."

"Then tear it down," Leo advised quietly, still fighting the urge to pass out.

Raph shook his head.

"Then just let me in," Leo whispered as he backed away a small distance.

They were a few inches from one another and stayed like that for a long minute. Then, Leo leaned forward, letting his forehead touch Raph's.

"Show me, let me feel that pain," Leo said, closing his eyes.

Raph closed his eyes and felt a strange cold atmosphere descend around him. He relived it all in a second. The scenes flashed around him and the guilt piled down on top of him.

"Ah!" he called out as it began to crush him.

Then, there was less pressure.

"Let me carry some of that," a voice said.

Raph glanced up to see Leo beside him, his shoulders were shaking from the added weight but only the slightest bit. Their eyes met and then the scenes from Usagi's world flashed around them. Leo's shoulders shook more violently but after a deep breath they quit trembling.

"Leo," Raph whispered, ignoring every scene that flashed around him.

Leo reached out and rested a hand on Raph's shoulder. A light filled the world around them and then everything went black. Raph's eyes fluttered a bit before he opened his eyes completely. He was back in the dojo, and Leo was staring at him. Tears flowed and Raph flung himself into Leo's arms, letting it all out in one final scream. It wasn't but a few minutes later that the red clad turtle faded into sleep as tears continued to leak from his body. Finally, when he was till and breathing deeply Leo pulled back and glanced across the room, his brothers both wore shocked expressions and his sensei was smiling proudly. Leo smiled back and bowed his head in thanks. The technique was the one his father had used to relieve him of a small amount of stress and grief after Usagi's death.

With a last amused smile at his two youngest brothers he scooped Raph into his arms and walked out of the dojo. He headed strait to Raph's room and slipped him into his hammock. As he turned to walk away a hand shot out and grabbed his arm. The eldest glanced back and saw his younger brother staring at him with pleading eyes.

"Please, don't go," he begged.

Leo smiled and bent down to let his forehead rest against Raph's, "I'll be right back little brother."

Raph's gaze locked onto the still bleeding wounds in Leo's stomach and wanted to pull his eyes from his skull. When Leo exited the room and closed the door, Raph stared at the ceiling in sadness as his body still trembled from the shock of all that had just happened. He turned towards the wall and glanced at his hands they were still stained with blood. He forced himself to get up and head to the bathroom to wash away the blood. He kept glancing at them, he could still smell it and he often saw the blood reappear. He shook his head each time and the image faded. He stumbled back to his room and fell down in his hammock. Leo was coming soon anyways, right? He would be back soon.

As if on cue, Leo walked through the door, clean white bandages were wrapped around him. Raph sat up as Leo walked towards him.

"L-Leo, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he said as new tears sprung from his eyes.

Leo smiled patiently and sat beside him, raising a hand to wipe away the tears.

Then Leo hugged him, "You should sleep."

"Stay with me?" Raph asked.

"Of course," Leo whispered.

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I am bored!

A review here? How about here? Is this story worthy of a review?

~Moonsetta


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